Losing Sleep Thinking About Someone? Here’s Why (And How to Stop It)

If you’re losing sleep thinking about someone, you could be struggling with loneliness, infatuation, or unresolved emotions. 

While it’s completely normal to think about someone you care about, there’s a fine line between obsession and love. So it’s crucial to know when to stop ruminating and start getting a bit of much-needed sleep. 

You can start moving on and overcome your feelings by implementing a couple of simple habits, such as:

  • Journaling
  • Doing yoga
  • Practicing mindfulness
  • Acknowledging your feelings

In this article, you’ll learn why your mind fixates on certain people and what can be done to break free. So keep reading if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep waking up at night thinking about someone?”
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone

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Have you ever had the urge to text someone, “I can’t sleep thinking of you”? You’re not alone. But what does it mean when you can’t sleep because you are thinking about someone?

It could mean several things. For example, you might be feeling lonely, or you might have strong feelings for them. I’ve delved deeper into other possible reasons below.

They Feel Familiar

You might ruminate about someone if they feel familiar to an old acquaintance. Maybe their voice is similar to your mother’s, or they look like your ex. 

In other words, they remind you of someone who used to be dear to you. Even if you aren’t aware of this sense of familiarity, you might still feel this way subconsciously. 

If that’s the case for you, it’s important not to fall into the trap of using them as a replacement for who they resemble. 

You Have Unresolved Emotions

If you can’t stop thinking about someone after getting betrayed by them or having a big fight, you might need to get closure. This is especially true if you didn’t contact them after the incident.

In most cases, they won’t communicate with you to give you the “answers” you need. So the only way to move forward is by accepting this unfinished business and realizing that there’s nothing else you can do. 

Because if you don’t move on, you’ll stay stuck thinking about them until you decide that enough is enough.

You’re Emotionally Dependent

If you’re losing sleep thinking about someone after getting close to them, you might be emotionally dependent on them, especially if you have an anxious attachment.

Anxious attachment is an attachment style that makes you preoccupied with the attention and reassurance of others. For instance, if you don’t get a response from someone the way you anticipated, you might feel like their feelings toward you have changed. 

If this sounds familiar, the best way to stop obsessively thinking about someone is by seeking professional help to work on your anxious attachment. 

You’re Infatuated

Sometimes it’s hard to stop thinking about someone you’re crushing on, especially at the beginning of the relationship. In this case, there’s nothing you can do other than enjoy these sleepless nights since it’s only a matter of time until your infatuation wears off. 

How to Stop Thinking About Someone

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It can be difficult to stop thinking about someone who was close to you once. Whether that person caused you joy or heartache, completely forgetting about them feels impossible. 

Luckily, you can move on by changing your habits. Here are some helpful ones.

Accept Your Feelings

Whether it’s unrequited love, mistreatment, or betrayal, it’s hard to introspect and examine your feelings when you can’t accept reality. But if you insist on avoiding your feelings, you’ll never be able to stop thinking about someone. 

Strange as it may sound, the moment you stop shoving down how you truly feel is the moment you set yourself free from rumination. 

One way to help you look inwards and unpack your feelings is by meditating. Meditation is the practice of mindfulness, which means being fully present in the moment. But just know that it’s harder than it sounds because it feels boring. 

However, practice makes perfect, and even five minutes of meditation before going to bed can help you let go of your feelings.

Distract Yourself

You can’t get over a situation if you spend your entire day thinking about it. Luckily, that’s an easy fix: look for a way to distract yourself, be it a hobby or a fun activity

But you should make sure not to practice harmful habits like indulging in alcohol or behaving hastily. This is because while doing so might work short-term, it’ll worsen your mental well-being in the long run.

Instead, you should distract yourself with positive habits such as hanging out with your friends or trying out a new hobby.

Write Down Your Thoughts

Not everyone can address their feelings directly—I’m one of those people—but writing down whatever floats on your mind can help you decipher and unravel your thoughts. 

So whenever you can’t bring yourself to vent to someone about your troubles, you should journal. You might even get closure from what’s bothering you when you reread what you journaled with a fresh pair of eyes. 

If you can’t seem to journal because you don’t know what to write or feel like you’re not “talented enough” to write, you’re not alone. 

But trust me on this: just grab a pen, and scribble down anything. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not because it’s only a starting point that’ll help you unlock your hidden emotions. 

You might be tempted to make sure your writing is grammatically sound and immaculate, but try to ignore these thoughts and write down whatever comes to your mind. By the end of journaling, you’ll feel like a huge weight got lifted off your shoulder.

Avoid Contact

The fastest (and most difficult) way to stop thinking about someone is by completely cutting them off. 

I know it’s not easy, and you probably have a list of so-called excuses for why you can’t avoid contacting them, especially when you cherish them. But you have to resort to this option if every other solution has failed. 

This means unfollowing them on social media and avoiding their calls and texts, if possible. Also, you should avoid going to places that remind you of them. And if you have to contact them, try to keep it minimal and short. 

Talk to Someone

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If you have a friend you trust, venting out how you feel about someone can help you overcome your ruminating thoughts. Also, it can give you insights into why you’re fixated on that particular person and how to work through those feelings.

Switch up Bedtime Routine

You might struggle to sleep because your brain is used to obsessively thinking about someone.

You can tackle this by switching up your bedtime routine to make it more relaxing. Here are a couple of activities you can try:

  • Take a warm bath
  • Listen to classical music
  • Do some yoga
  • Do breathing exercises
  • Practice gratitude

You should also get rid of any habits that don’t help you sleep better. For example, instead of eating snacks and watching movies at night, do this during the daytime. 

Lastly, avoid using your phone before heading to sleep because it emits blue light, which increases the risk of insomnia.

Practice Self-Care

It’s essential to take care of your mental and physical well-being, no matter how difficult it might be. As cliché as it might sound, love yourself first and create a positive daily routine to remind yourself of your worth. For instance, practice healthy activities like exercising to boost your mood and make you feel relaxed. 

Also, try to find ways to focus on the positives of your current situation. For example, what lessons have you learned, what are some patterns you’ve noticed in your current situation, and how can you prevent those patterns from arising in your future relationships?


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While it’s often easier said than done, taking action to acknowledge your feelings can make all the difference between having a good night’s sleep or losing sleep obsessing over someone.

Take small steps to overcome ruminating thoughts by distracting yourself and cutting contact. Also, consider talking out your feelings to someone you trust. 

Lastly, remember that everyone processes emotions differently. So be patient with yourself and practice self-care, and you’ll inevitably overcome these obsessive thoughts.


  • Penny Albright

    Hi, my name is Penny Albright and I love the way sleep makes me feel! I created this website as a resource for anyone like me who is obsessed with everything related to sleeping and dreams. I love how good I feel after a great night of sleep and it is my goal and mission to help everyone get the sleep of their dreams!

Penny Albright
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